Monday, March 16, 2009

never too old to learn

ten years ago during my college days in the idyllic shenandoah valley, i began to delve into the murky process of self-discovery and other such nebulous therap-ese terms all rooted in understanding oneself. as part of that journey, i discovered the teachings (preachings) of bill phillips. phillips, a former steroid driven bodybuilding champion turned motivational speaker/personal trainer/entrepreneur, wrote several books including his most widely published Body for Life. i was captivated by the "you can do it" tenets of the BFL program and impressed by the way phillips incited the reader to act with his "let your progress be the reward" encouragements.

the thing that has stuck with me the most from that book is the types of "vision" that phillips outlines; historical, present, and future. phillips professes that folks who allow historical vision to dominate their thoughts believe that everything good or important in their lives has already past and they often dwell on the way things "used to be." these people often see themselves as the person they were back in the "good old days" and don't realize how far they've let themselves slide from that image.

the reason all of that nonsense is important is that, of late, i've become that slug with historical least where my fitness is concerned. those of you who know me (AKA, the only people who read this blog) know, at least in part, what amazing things i "used to" be able to do. well, kids...i'm here to tell ya that the mighty has certainly fallen and the thing that has brought this sharply into focus for me was my first parkour class. i enrolled in a 5 week program at a gym in denver and today's class focused on the exercises needed to build a body fit for parkour-specific activities. we did pushups, dips, situps, rolls, falls, and quadrupedal movement and they were all a slap in the face that reminded me (in a frightening, but good, way) that i'm far from my strong, limber, active, injury-free high school and college days.

i'm ashamed but rejuvenated and determined to heal myself, strengthen myself, better myself, and eventually be able keep pace with these parkour practitioners:

i'll end with some brilliant, timeless advice passed along to me years ago by a tai chi master. i try to keep these words in mind when i start moving too fast for my own good and find myself in need of a little grounding.

1. know yourself
2. do your best
3. don't overdo it
4. make a little progress every day

stay tuned for the updates,


p.s. - i'll ship you my copy of Body for Life if anyone wants to borrow long as you don't mind the highlighting and margin notes :-)

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

how do they know!?

one look at my junkmail inbox and it becomes clear that the omnipotent spam gods have looked straight into my soul and have sent me just the email i need to make my life complete again.

one example of their clairvoyance comes (every f'n day) in the form of career guidance. the four choices that have been laid out tarot-like for me are "Advance Your Career today with a Teaching Degree," "Earn Your Nursing Degree Today," "Make More $ Today as a Stay at Home Mom," and the one every day from Michael Vincent which proudly boasts, "I found you a new job." thanks for your diligence, Michael.

the next area where the gods shine is suggesting ways to improve my financial life. according to them, i'm apparently simultaneously facing foreclosure, currently in foreclosure, and looking for foreclosed home and they've sent me no shortage of emails to help me ameliorate all three conditions. this may be due in part to me not taking advantage of my "Totally Free Credit Report #256896643" or not heeding the advice given in such classics as , "Legally Erase Your Debt!"

lastly, the all-knowing ones are keenly aware of my romantic needs and subtly let me know daily that there are "Singles Wanted," and "Daters Wanted," in my area and i can "Email and Chat FREE" with them. if those solicitations weren't enticing enough, they've gone a step further and encouraged me not only to date but to "Find the One." they've also enlisted the help of someone named Li.N who targeted me specifically and sent me an email saying that she is "looking for an old fashoined honest descent man." i'll forgive the misspelling of fashioned but what is a "descent man?" i can only imagine it's a man who goes down. mistake or clever marketing? hrmmm.

perhaps my failures in the romantic realm can be attributed to wrinkles because i've been getting hints from the gods - "Best Anti-aging pill EVER! As seen on TV." guess all that moisturizing i do hasn't helped. least they're finally happy with my penis size. but they are still concerned that i'm paying too much for printer ink and toner. it's a give and take, i suppose.

what are the gods saying to YOU these days?