the world may never be the same....mine certainly won't

that, folks, is a bean. this is a picture of a 6 week old bean in my lady-friend's belly that i helped create (on purpose even!). first seeing those fateful litmus lines and then hearing the doctor confirm, "yep, it's in there.," brought my world skidding to a standstill and simultaneously kicked it into an exponentially higher gear.

what happens now? according to every parent out there, life changes. now that i've had about three months to get used to the idea of being a father, i've started to really contemplate what it actually means to be a parent and ponder exactly HOW this little peanut is going to change me and us.

will i be more mature (i sure hope not!)? will we be better with our finances? will i learn to iron properly? will i acquire those mysterious "dad" skills like being able to pull coins out of ears, untying any conceivable knot, making skinned knees less painful, deftly pulling splinters from careless appendages, making the best weekend-morning breakfasts, and knowing the answer for every possible question? will i be able to tone down my potty-mouth? will mama and i be more steadfast and united with things like cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, and baby-related chores? will i learn any magic tricks? what songs will i lean to play on the guitar to pacify the little monster? will we be able to find a Punisher t-shirt for the baby? what is an appropriate age for baby's first tattoo? will my juggling skills improve? will i be able to find a diaper bag that holds all the baby's accoutrements AND my pistol?

the coming months will undoubtedly hold many more questions but i'm really comfortable with the laissez-faire approach and learn-as-we-go outlook that mama and i have. i'm sure the structure will build itself as necessary and that despite it all, our little person will be twice as incorrigible as mama and myself :-)

i'm already swelling with love and pride and joy and hope and excitement and a zillion other emotions that are growing in strength, depth, and complexity every day and i can scarcely wait to pour all those feelings out on our little bean.

i welcome all perspectives and comments and advice and will do my best to keep you posted as the due date approaches. in the meantime, i've got songs to learn and magic tricks to practice...

~thorns